By Debbie Williams

Have you ever had someone say something mean to you, and then follow it up with, “I’m just kidding!” Under the cover of supposedly playful banter, they’re dishing out some real digs. And you’re absorbing the hits.

In this day and age, bullying is an important topic. But there’s a big gray area where the line between everyday joking around and outright aggression is not all that clear.

On one end, joking can be a fun part of office interaction, and it does a lot of good for the team. It builds comradery. It keeps things light. And it helps drain off tension.

Being part of the office jokes actually creates a sense of belonging. It means that you’re accepted, and that your teammates are comfortable with you.

However, on the other end, some comments can have a sharp edge, and carry deeper meanings. It’s not teasing. It’s making fun of people.

Instead of laughing with each other as a team, they are laughing at each other. People are being singled out. It’s “victim humor.” Somebody’s the butt of the jokes.

This kind of team culture damages employees and it’s poisonous to the team. It directly affects productivity and performance.

Employers are responsible for preventing workplace harassment

From a legal standpoint, depending on what’s being said, office jokes can sometimes create a “hostile or offensive work environment.”

As an employer, you need to make sure you are doing everything in your power to prevent a hostile work environment and keep your employees safe.

When the comments address any of the federal, state, or local protected classes, these comments can create major liabilities for both the perpetrators, and for your organization.

So, when is so-called “office humor” stepping over the line?

One of the factors that the EEOC highlights is when “the conduct is severe enough or pervasive enough to create a work environment that a reasonable person would consider intimidating, hostile, or abusive.”

That leaves some room for interpretation. But the key terms are: reasonable person, severe, and pervasive.

So, is there a single severe incident, or is there a pattern of behavior, that a reasonable person would find intimidating, hostile, or abusive? If the answer is yes, then you may have to take necessary steps to address the situation before it escalates.

What can employees do to protect themselves from bullying?

If appropriate, the EEOC encourages employees to let the other person know that the behavior is unwelcome.

Alternatively, employees have the option to report the behavior to their manager or supervisor, or to someone from Human Resources.

The point to remember here is that employees, even if they’re being singled out by their team, are not alone. The organization ultimately has their back, and is committed to creating a positive, productive, bias-free work environment. No one should ever have to endure verbal abuse in the workplace.

That is true for harassment, or any kind of discrimination in the workplace.

But what about behavior that’s more in that gray zone? The one that’s not exactly abuse, but it’s more than joking around.

There is a fine line between teasing and verbal aggression. It will always depend on what’s being said, how it’s being said, and in what context.

While some employees might want to handle it on their own, take it and even dish it back, others might feel intimidated.

The important thing to remember is that none of your employees should ever have to endure anything that’s intimidating, hostile, or abusive in their eyes.

To learn more about verbal self-defense and how to prevent a hostile environment before it becomes severe or pervasive, watch our new video course, Verbal Self-Defense at Work.

Watch a 1-minute preview here, or start a 30-day free trial to watch the full course:

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